Botched It
by MuggleBeene
Summary: Hugo Weasley needs advice from his father on how to propose. Ron's stories give Hugo an example of what NOT to do, however ,as he recounts how he asked Hermione to marry him. Part of the Professor Muggle story series.


**Botched It**

_**A/N: This story takes place before 'Still Life Studies' and before Chapter 8 of 'Headstrong Mione.' Slight connection with 'You Are a Married Man!' Part of the Professor Muggle story series.**_

_Late May, 2029_

It was a sunny morning as Ron Weasley sat out in his garden, reading the paper and drinking tea. The remains of a rather large package of baked goods stood almost empty, crumbs at the edges of the box, and without looking he reached into the box and felt around until his hand landed on the next-to- last sweet roll. Without taking his gaze from the paper he lifted the roll, took a giant-sized bite and continued reading about the ongoing woes of the Chudley Cannons. Because of his concentration he was rather surprised when his son Hugo sat down across from him. The result of Hugo's sudden appearance caused two things to happen; Ron dropped the sweet roll onto the grass and his long legs knocked the top of the table, spilling about half of his tea.

"Bloody hell, Hugo! Some warning?" He reached down and grabbed the roll, brushed away a few stray blades of grass and took another bite.

Hugo normally would have laughed at his father's predicament and definitely would have commented on the roll, as well as his mum's usual views on picking food up off of the ground, but in his current frame of mind it was the furthest thing from his thoughts. "Sorry, Dad."

The tone in Hugo's voice made Ron give him an odd glance. He thought about saying something but instead pushed the box across the table. "One left, I think." When Hugo, whose appetite equaled and on occasion surpassed Ron's, declined the offer Ron sat the remains of his roll on the table and looked over to his son. There had been some tense moments in the house between Hugo and Hermione when Hugo had returned from the war as his wife still hadn't fully comprehended that 'her baby boy' had grown up. The fact that he served as a soldier in the war meant little to Hermione, as she still thought of him as the rambunctious little hellion who played pranks and zoomed around on a toy broom. Hugo had put up with it well, but Ron knew that he was chafing to get out of the house. Even more than that, there was his girlfriend.

Finally Hugo let out a deep sigh and slouched back in his chair. "Dad, I need some advice."

Ron took a sip of what was left of his tea. "Um, your mum should be up soon."

Hugo snorted and shook his head. "No, I need _your_ advice."

"Oh." Ron sat up and leaned forward. "I've already said my piece on being an Auror. You know what that was like growing up, all the times I had to miss things…"

"No, I'm good with that, Dad." Hugo's foot tapped nervously underneath the table and he scratched his chin with the last three fingers of his right hand. "Um, Dad? How did you ask mum to marry you?"

Ron opened his mouth to speak but found that the words just wouldn't come out. Eventually he was able to form a sentence. "Right. Right. Shouldn't be surprised. Saw how you kissed Virginia when you came back. Right. Virginia Boyd…sure you can handle that?"

Hugo shook his head. "Like you _handle_ Mum. Uh-huh."

"Shut it. Ok, I'll tell you, but let's wait until your mum goes over to Colony House. You're going to the party, right?"

"Dad? Really?"

He nodded. "Of course you are, son. Ok, I'll tell you now, fetch me another cuppa and then we can have a little talk." As Ron watched his son head back into the house he took a deep breath. He knew the day would come eventually, and he wasn't looking forward to it at all. It had been much easier with Rosie; Simon had even come over and officially asked for his blessing. All he had to do was approve, but in the back of his mind he knew that his only son would one day ask him how to propose to his girlfriend. It was all going to come out, and only he, Harry and his in-laws knew the whole story. Well, if he had to tell anyone, at least it was Hugo.

"Here you go, Dad." Hugo handed him a cup of tea and sat down, a piece of parchment and a quill in his hand. "Notes. I want to know how to do it properly."

Ron laughed. "Properly. Right."

* * *

_Valentine's Day 2001_

Ron Weasley sat in his Auror uniform in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures looking through a pamphlet entitled _Don't Chop That Tree - Dryad Safety and YOU_ for the fourth time. Hermione was supposed to be finished with her meeting at four, but it was already after five and Ron's stomach was growling fiercely. The reception wizard offered to share half of his roast beef sandwich, but Ron declined, as it looked as if the sandwich had been in a desk drawer for a few days. Eventually, though, Hermione came through of the door looking rather frazzled.

"Oh Ron, I'm so sorry. It was another being or beast discussion and Eudora just kept going on and on." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Have you been here long?"

Ron glanced at the reception wizard and watched the man roll his eyes. "A bit. Ready?"

She nodded and the two of them quickly left the Ministry after shoving their robes into Hermione's purse. Eventually they arrived at a new Wizarding restaurant, a Thai place that Ron had begun to frequent recently. It was one of his partner's favorites, and old Ossian Steeplejack loved nothing more than eating hot Thai food. The fact that it made his Steeplejack's nose run until unsightly things dribbled out of his nose and onto his mustache would normally be a detriment, but Ron found that he rather liked the spicy food. After confirming his reservation twice Ron followed the hostess to their table and the couple sat down. Ron glanced over towards the hostess several time and hoped that Hermione hadn't noticed. After waiting a moment they gave their drink orders to the waitress which gave Hermione a chance to look around the restaurant. It wasn't long before she gave a contented little sigh.

"I'm _so_ glad we decided to have a nice, mature little Valentine's Day meal. I do like the flowers and candy, but it's just so predictable today."

Ron's leg began bouncing underneath the table as he started to mentally groan. "Yeah, predictable."

Hermione ignored his lack of enthusiasm. "I mean, look over there, next to the fish tank. Not obviously, Ron, please! In a moment look at the couple and tell me what you see."

Ron leaned back in his chair and surreptitiously sneaked a glance at the table that his girlfriend had mentioned. A man and a woman, in what looked like their mid-thirties, sat with a giant bouquet of flowers between them. Next to the flowers was an overly large box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box with a red card on top of it. They held hands across the table, ignoring their menus. He turned back to Hermione. "I dunno, they look happy."

After rolling her eyes Hermione turned to Ron. "Well, yes, I expect they are happy, but it seems silly to have only one day completely devoted to romance. I expect he ignores it the rest of the year and goes to all the bother to make up for it."

Ron was spared having to comment by the waitress, who arrived and brought their drinks. After perusing the menu for a few moments they both ordered, and Ron was rather emphatic about having a dish that wasn't on the menu. When the waitress gave him an odd look Ron informed her that it was quite all right with the manager, as he'd spoken to him earlier, emphasizing the word 'manager.'

"I didn't know you liked Thai food so much. And where did you hear of that dish?" Hermione arched an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"Uh, Steeplejack gets it a lot." He nodded, and hurriedly added "it's really good."

While Hermione began telling Ron about her parents' holiday plans the brain of the youngest male Weasley was in full fever; with the comments that Hermione had been sprouting about Valentine's Day he hoped that his plan would go off without a hitch.

It didn't happen.

When the waitress brought out their meals Ron looked down at his plate in sheer, utter confusion. There was no way to have Hermione try some of his meal and find the ring, because what sat in front of him was completely, absolutely _not_ what he had ordered. He turned to try and flag down the waitress, and that's when the couple at the other table, the one that Hermione had used as example of what not to do for Valentine's Day, became the focus of the restaurant. The woman's high-pitched scream of joy made every eye turn to that table, and Ron's stomach seemed to fall on the floor as the woman held an engagement band with a decent sized diamond. The very same engagement band that Ron had made payments to Fiona's Filigree ever since Christmas.

* * *

Once he finally stopped laughing Hugo looked over to his father. "Bloody hell, Dad! What'd you do then?"

Ron exhaled, making his bangs blow slightly. "Well, I couldn't very well march over there and tell the bloke it wasn't for her, could I? His girl was happy as can be, and so was he. Wouldn't you, I mean, free ring and all? And after your mum had gone on about how stupid and predictable Valentine's Day was, I couldn't really do it then. Plus, it was ruined. My big moment, gone. I'd even gone to Gringotts' and had Bill exchange Galleons for pounds so I could plan it all out. I went into the bathroom, sent Harry a quick Patronus, and then he just happened to show up at the restaurant a few minutes later. I think your Aunt Ginny's still peeved about it."

Hugo nodded. "She has made a few comments every now and then about how you're horrible at Valentine's Day."

Ron rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, well…anyway Harry told Hermione he had some 'work things' to discuss with me, so we stepped away and I filled him in. He left not too long after that, but he gave me the ring back the next day. Good thing he's Harry, 'cause he got the couple's address, visited them the next day and explained that it wasn't meant for them. The only thing that sold it was he used the whole 'Boy Who Lived' bit and gave 'em Galleons towards another band. Made me pay him back, too, so your mum's ring cost twice what I'd planned."

"Merlin." Hugo wiped his eyes. "And Mum doesn't know?"

"No!" Ron pointed a finger at his son. "And if I hear one word…"

Hands raised in innocence Hugo smiled. "Not a peep."

"Good." Ron took a deep breath. "So you woulda thought I would just go for the down on one knee bit after that, right? Of course I couldn't do that. Ever since Harry proposed to Ginny it wasn't easy, as your mum had been giving me hints that I was too daft to get. Ginny finally pulled me aside one day at The Burrow and told me that Hermione was worried that I didn't want to marry her, as she'd been saying things that I just didn't understand. Women are weird, son. Hope you know what you're doing."

Hugo nodded. "Oh, I know. Well, I think I do."

"It's a bloody minefield. Christmas was a complete cock-up that year. I guess she thought I'd give her a ring then, but I gave her a new pair of gloves, books and some trainers."

After his laughter died down Hugo shook his head. "Merlin, Dad, you were clueless."

Ron took a deep breath. "Oh, just wait."

* * *

_2 March, 2001_

Ron walked calmly up to the little house in Shepherds Bush, his exterior completely at odds to his mental state. Now that he had a second chance to ask Hermione to marry him, he'd decided to go the traditional route and ask her father. The Grangers weren't intimidating people by any stretch of the imagination, not like some of the Wizarding people he knew, but they were daunting in other ways. Hermione was their only daughter, she lived in a completely different world than her parents, and after the whole 'Australian holiday' as it was commonly referred to they were a slight bit wary regarding the Wizarding world. At least Ron knew they liked him, as his previous visits with Hermione and her parents always tended to go longer than anticipated and never felt completely awkward.

All that and more kept spinning through Ron's mind as he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Shortly thereafter the door opened a crack, revealing Gerald Granger for a brief second, and then the door opened widely. Ron's spirits sank as he saw his hopeful future father-in-law in a dressing gown.

"Ron? What are you doing at this time of day? It's half-seven, lad."

"Um, can I talk with you for a moment, Mr. Granger?"

"Yes, come in." Gerald closed the door behind Ron and suddenly became very pale. "Is she all right? Nothing's happened, has it? You're not packing us off to Australia again, are you?"

"No, no sir, nothing like that. Oh, and she's fine." After a few strained moments of silence Ron's words came out in a tumble. "Shedoesn'tknowI'mhereandIneedtotalktoyou."

Winifred Granger's voice came from upstairs. "Gerald? Is there something wrong?"

Gerald motioned Ron towards the kitchen and walked half-way up the stairs and spoke in a loud voice. "No, dear, nothing's wrong. Ron's here." He turned to Ron. "Best to let her know so none of us are embarrassed. Had to sign for a package one day and she was in her pyjamas, bloke who delivered it saw her. Still haven't heard the end of it. Let's have a cup of tea, then."

After Ron sat down at the kitchen table for what seemed an interminable amount of time Gerald brought over the tea. Ron was very slow and deliberate preparing his tea and the silence was almost palpable. Eventually, though, he looked over to Gerald.

"Mr. Granger, I want you to know, um, that Hermione is the most important thing in my life. Still don't know what she sees in me most days, but…" He took a very deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that I botched it once before, on Valentine's Day, and I realized I should've talked to you first, done it properly…I'd like your permission to ask her to marry me."

"Gerald, please tell me you've put on some pants." Winifred walked around the corner into the kitchen, bushy brown hair pulled back into a professional ponytail. "Goodness, you two look like you're…" She took in Ron's nerve-wracked face, Gerald's attempt to hide a smile and clapped a hand to her mouth.

Gerald winked at his wife and turned to Ron. "Yes, Ron, you have my permission. So this is the second attempt, then, eh? What happened the first time?"

Ron recounted the disastrous Valentine's Day meal, his plan, and his desire to do a proposal worthy of Hermione. After informing the Grangers of his plan, and the need of their help, it was all settled. Winifred gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling him that she knew her daughter would love Ron's idea.

"Winnie, give the boy some air. If I had any I'd give you a drink, Ron. I remember what it was like when I asked her father. Read me the riot act, and I promised myself if I ever had a daughter I'd never do that. Ok, let's go setup this little plan of yours."

-ooo-

Hermione Granger walked out of the Wizangamot chamber in a foul mood. The informational session had been a complete and utter disaster, especially since one of her main supporters was nowhere to be found. As the crowd milled through the Ministry as usual Hermione walked purposely towards the lifts, outlining all the evidence to give the one person she thought she could count on to help, her boyfriend, a complete thrashing. As she entered the lift several other people followed and everything was silent except for a slight moaning coming from a box. It was while looking for the owner of the moaning item, which turned out to be an Unspeakable, that Hermione lit upon a person with the right hair color and the right surname.

"Percy!"

After adjusting his glasses Percy Weasley shuffled along the lift until he was next to Hermione. "Oh, hello there, didn't see you when I got on…is something wrong?"

"Wrong? Is something wrong? Why would anything be wrong, Percy? The fact that your idiot brother doesn't even bother to show up, send a message or tell me anything at all about why he didn't show up at my House Elf Rights informational meeting that's been on the books for three weeks…why would that bother me at all?"

"Oh dear." Percy pulled a face. "What happened?"

"Moved to next week." The lift stopped and several people got off, leaving only Hermione and Percy. After the lift started again she rounded on him. "I have half a mind to tell your mum. If I didn't know he was horrible at remembering things I'd be upset, but I should know better. If he did remember then he probably just didn't want to go! He was never very enthusiastic about S.P.E.W. when we were at school…"

Percy held up his hand. "He is an Auror now, you know. Have you thought of that?"

Hermione's mouth opened and then shut without saying a word. "I forgot."

The lift stopped and Percy stepped off. "Something to think about."

For the last hour Hermione ignored the work on her desk. Oh, she tried to gather up the energy to work on it, and knew that she should cross-check House Elf laws in the UK against those in the rest of Europe again, but it was no use. All she could think of was Ron. He'd been acting so odd in the last few weeks that she found herself wondering what was wrong with him, and then it hit her. He was going to break up with her.

That sent Hermione into a tizzy, as she quickly closed up her folders, didn't even file them away properly and left for the day.

-ooo-

Ron's head stuck out from underneath the hedge surrounding the Granger's house. "Crookshanks! Come here, kitty! Kitty, kitty, kitty!" After a few moments of silence he moved slightly. "Come on, you rotten little bastard!"

"Any luck?" Gerald Granger's voice was heard from the other side of the garden.

"Bloody cat." Ron stood up and brushed the grass and debris from his jeans. "He's ancient, he never moves from that spot on the sofa, but he picks this day of all days to run off."

Gerald began walking across the garden. "He'll be back soon, he never wanders off." When he made it over to Ron he put a hand on his shoulder. "He'll turn up, just you wait."

"I've been waiting since bloody Valentine's Day." Ron took a look at his watch. "Merlin, she'll be home soon. We gotta find that cat." The sound of the front door slamming caused both Ron and Gerald to look at each other in surprise. Ron took another look at his watch. "She can't be here! She never leaves work early!"

"Uh, hide in the shed." Gerald straightened up and pointed a finger at Ron. "And you're doing this today, I won't go cancelling my appointments for no good reason. At least I didn't have to deal with that Miller boy today. Go!"

Ron had barely made it out to the shed and closed the door when he heard the back door slam. Once he'd eased the door open slightly he looked through the crack and saw Hermione out in the garden, her mum trailing behind.

"Mum, can you believe him? I told him three times yesterday, three! You would think he would have remembered." Hermione waved off her mum's offer of a glass of ice water. "And he's been acting so…so…so odd! I catch him looking at me but not really looking at me, and he doesn't seem to be paying attention when I say something. I know he's an Auror now and you know what I told you that job is like, but it doesn't…" She stood stock still next to the hedge, and when she spoke her voice was quiet. "After everything we've been through, as long as it took us to get here, and now it's just going to end like this?"

That was the breaking point for Ron. The door of the shed opened with a bang and he walked forward quickly to her. "End it? You're barmy. I'm not ending it."

"Ron!" Hermione's eyes went wide. "What on earth are you doing in my parents' shed?" Before he could answer, though, her fury returned. "And where were you today? You were supposed to be in the House Elf informational session, and nobody knew where you were, Harry didn't even know, and I was about to go ask Robards but…ooooh!" She shivered in anger. "Three times, Ronald. I told you _three times_ yesterday!"

"I know, I know! It was the only thing on my damn schedule! I even cleared it with Robards! But instead of sitting there and nodding along when you tell everyone about S.P.E.W. and how it's terrible how house elves are treated I've been here all bloody day trying to find your stupid cat!"

"Crookshanks?" Hermione tilted her head. "Why in Merlin's name are you over here at my house trying to find my cat?"

Ron closed his eyes and counted to three. When he opened his eyes and saw Hermione's face, well, that was it. "I give up. This can't be happening again. Not after last time."

"Again? What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" Hermione walked over to him and stood several meters away, her arms crossed over her chest. "Ronald?"

The words came tumbling out as if a dam had burst. "Crookshanks has the engagement band on his collar, I put it on there because I know you pick him up right after you get home from work, and your dad said he thought you'd like that since Crookshanks and I haven't always been on the best of terms, but the little blighter ran off right after I put it on him. Your mum opened the door for something and he just ran right out, and I've been out here all day looking for him. Your Dad even cancelled his appointments! And, well, after Valentine's Day when that got all mucked up I wanted to do it right, and your mum even has dinner all planned out, it was all planned out, after the house elf stuff we'd come back here, you'd pick up Crookshanks and then I'd ask you. But your cat is a bastard. That's what I'm talking about."

Hermione glanced over at her father, who just nodded. Without saying another word she practically leaped into Ron's arms. "Does this mean…"

Ron sighed. "Yes, 'Mione, I'm asking you to marry me, but I have no clue where the ring is…"

She looked up into his eyes. "You're a complete idiot, you know that, right?"

"Oh yeah."

Hermione gave him a sly smirk. "Well at least I know what I'm getting into, then."

"So that's a 'yes' is it?"

"Yes, Ron, it's a yes."

Ron didn't care that her parents were there in the garden, he gave Hermione the kiss that he'd been thinking about for a very long time, the 'she said yes' kiss.

* * *

Hugo held his stomach, as it almost hurt from laughing. "Dad, I mean, wow. You hid in the shed? Merlin. So you found Crookshanks, then?"

Ron picked up the empty pastry box, extracted a few stray bits of icing and popped them in his mouth. "Yeah. Little bastard was asleep under a chair the whole time. No clue how he got back in the house. I would've used magic to find him but Robards, my boss, that was one of the conditions of him giving me the day. If I was asking her in a Muggle house I had to be like a Muggle. Said it was a rule or summing, but now I know he was just taking the piss."

"I'm glad Virginia doesn't have a cat." Hugo shook his head. "Well, I know what _not_ to do."

"Yeah, back to that. How are you going to do it?"

"Well…" Hugo grinned. "Great minds think alike, I guess. Going to do it at the restaurant, put the ring in the fortune cookie."

"Skip that crap and just ask her, Hugo. Much easier on everybody." Ron scratched his stubbly chin. "You sure about this?"

"Definitely."

The sound of the door closing caused the Weasley men to shift their attention. Hermione was heading towards them, reading glasses on, a heavy book in her hands. When she got to them Ron reached out and pulled her into his lap, causing her to smack him on the shoulder.

Ron looked over to his son. "Remember what we talked about, ok? It'll all turn out ok in the end." He coughed slightly and smiled at his wife. "Sorry, love, Auror stuff. Secret stuff."


End file.
